RE: Hello Kelly

Kelly, it's normal to be scared, that is where your anger comes from. I was so scared and angry when I decided to let the doc "clip" my annie. At first I said no, "it's only 3mm" we will watch it. But then I remembered what the radiologist told me, "if this burst, it won't be good." I decided not to chance it..I just didn't want anyone going into my "brain." It turned out it was 8mm, going vertical down, had bled, but clotted to my brain BEFORE I ever knew I had one. The doc was in my brain for 8 hours not 90 min...he thought I had a stroke during surgery, they did another angiogram...I didn't feel it this time I was OUT..neg..I had a TIA however, but I exercise weekly, and you can't tell I have "some" weakness on my right side.

My recovery has been a year and a half.........better everyday..my main issue was depression. I am a nurse who can't work (I keep my license active, and always will) so I felt like after 27 years of working like crazy, I hit a brick wall.....didn't know what to do with myself..

I am currently getting therapy, and she changed my antidepressant, and it is working. It took me this long to get where I am, but it is one step at a time. Everyone is different in their recovery...

I blogged every day, as a countdown to my surgery...I wrote how I was feeling EVERYDAY...Then my husband blogged for me post surgery for awhile. Check some of mine out..You can see my emotions swinging back and forth, until nearly the day of surgery..I fully accepted it. I have pics on here where I'm smiling and giving the peace sign before they get ready to shave part of my hair off.. : ( but thank God I did it....the doc said I would have been dead by Xmas...he could see the blood flowing.............

You are in good hands Kelly, you will be fine. If you need any suggestions when you get out of surgery, and on your way to recovery please call on me

I send you an angel,,and I send you big hugs..

Sage

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HI Sage...

If this site had a "Viewer's choice" for posts...I would vote this as my "All time Favorite"... Thank~you for sharing ... Colleen

Hi Sage,

Thanks for sharing your remarkable story.

May God continue to bless you.

Carole

Thank you so much! I feel some days like I’m going nuts. I cry when I hold my granddaughter one hour, then smile and play the next hour. My kids are trying hard to be positive for me, but I get scared for them. I am afraid I’m making the wrong choice one minute, then the next I think it will be a breeze. This is such a roller coaster ride!

Kelly I have never blogged before. Hope you are well. I am going in to have same procedure as you June 7 at hopkins. I am scared.

Hi Denise,
I was very scared and nervous also. All the support and info from the wonderful people on here helped so much. It’s easy to tell you that the fear of the surgery is actually a lot worse than the actual thing. All I can tell you is, try to focus on the reason you are doing this. It is to gave a better quality if life, no more worrying and a peace of mind. I know all the emotions you are feeling. What helped me was trying to think of happy things when the fear came. Try to push the negative away as soon as it sets in. Picture your favorite times, go for a walk, get on here and vent…anything that pushes the fear away. It takes a little work to do it, but try to keep busy. There are many here are proof that things will be OK. I am one of them :). Anytime you want to talk …I will help any way I can!!!

Hugs and prayers,
Kelly

Sage...so easy to follow Colleen...you were blessed to make your right decision...

Prayers for your continued recovery; and for Kelly for her treatment and recovery....

Pat