I suffered raptured brain bleeding aneurysm on father day of 06/19/2020; I have suffered a complicated high conflict custody; false allegations and deprivation of visits including my kids birthdays and father day ; I survived the operation but my personality is changed between being indifferent ; loss of desire and no Joy For anything that I used to enjoy ; lack of motive and energy ; what is your advise or recommendations; thank you
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Hany, give yourself time and make little goals into big ones. I had no emotions for the first few years after my SAH. No crying through several losses of those I loved, (the dog that saved my life had to be put down a week after I got home, both parents passed away) no laughter with those I loved…I was pretty much flat lined in the emotion department. My brain did register pain as in the migraines that seemed to never stop, especially when I tried to garden or bend over. It was really odd as I knew I was supposed to feel but I didn’t know what.
When we experience a rupture, our neurons get messed up and they have to find a way around what’s been damaged. Sort of like driving the same way to work each day and then suddenly finding the road blocked. We have to find a different road, or many different roads to get to where we need to be. This takes a lot of time, the more damage, the more time it takes. I found this that may explain it better How the brain processes emotions | MIT News | Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Custody issues are rarely amicable in my experience, though I’ve known a few. I was called to testify in numerous cases because of the job I once had. For visits with your children, see if you can get supervised visitation. This is where either an outside party or a trusted friend/family member can be present.
I see you live in the San Diego area, I lived in Chula Vista back in the early to mid 60’s. We would go to Balboa Park, or to the beach. Dad was in the USN and we would take the ferry to Coronado, the Coronado Bridge wasn’t built yet. If you like the beach, hang out for a few hours. Do something you used to enjoy for a bit of time, doesn’t have to be long, just ease back into the things you once found pleasurable. If you need, try working with either a NeuroPsychologist or a therapist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. With UCSD right there, it shouldn’t be hard to find one. There might be a PhD candidate doing a study that can help you and the candidate. You might be able to find out by calling the Psychology Dept there.
For me in my first few years of recovery, my goals were focused on relieving the pain from sounds, photophobia, migraines, aphasia, speech, etc. I found work arounds just like my brain was and continues to do. I learned I do best when I stay hydrated, eat enough protein and rest when needed, If I fail to do what I need with these three things it’s quite noticeable, even to this day. Little steps at a time and seeing my cup as half full was what has helped me. I wish you the best!
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I had changed personalities to, however I prior had seen a psychiatrist because I’d started having before I knew I had a problem. Caused more depression- which causes bad fatigue, non caring wanting to be left alone- please talk to your doctor, you shouldn’t suffer- they should either try you on some medication or if you feel needed, ask for a recommendation- I honestly think it would be better for you to talk to a psychiatrist- they are a lot easier to talk to than a regular dr!! It’s helped me quit bit
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Thank you for sharing, great information. I have experienced similar issues and your advice helps me too. So many people don’t understand why we can’t do what we always used to do. It’s nice to feel okay about that. Rest and hydration are a must for me to function. Thanks again!
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Easier said than done, but hang in there. I too, had a rupture on 2/28/2021. I made it out of the ordeal, but certainly not without any concerns. Mainly it was my outlook on life. I would always ask myself “what did I do, to deserve this second chance? Why did God bring me back from the darkness, and allow me to live?” I was in a dark place personally. I reached out to my Dr. and he suggested I speak with a behavioral therapist. I did, and it was extremely beneficial. I learned that the brain, when dealing with as much trauma as an Aneurysm, goes through something that is not easily explained. The important thing I came to understand, is “time”. Your brain needs time to heal and with that healing comes all of the things you have described (Joy, motivation, energy). Keep posting, keep talking to those who are around you that you can confide with. Heck, shoot me a message and I can give you my cell number, and we can personally chat when things are tough. I would be more than happy to chat with you to help you on those “dark” days. Be well my friend. You are NOT alone in this journey.
Warm Regards,
David
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I want to echo dsalas410’s advice. Keep posting. If you haven’t already found a counsellor, then I hope you are looking for one. Until then, your PCP or neurologists may be able to provide antidepressants to help if they seem to think it is depression. God bless.