Grumpy and Angry is this normal and how long will it last for

I'm 30 years old with a 2 year old baby girl & a finance' and had aneurysm in August 2010.

I was playing netball at the time when I got a dreadful headache. I started to be sick and an ambulance was called. When I arrived at the hospital they were going to send me home with concussion when a friend said that I needed a Cat Scan done she hasn’t been hit anywhere. I was diagnosed with a hemorrhage that was from a rupture from an underling aneurysm on the right side of my brain.

So 24 hours after they started the operated, the first operation was for 12 hours and they clipped the aneurysm. After recovery I had another scan, and then they realize it was still bleeding so I went back for another operation 4 hours and they removed apart of my brain where the aneurysm was.

Within a couple of days I was getting Small Clots so I was move down to ICU department for 21 days. My blood pressure was put up past 180 to get rid of the clots.

From then on everything started to look pretty good for me. I started eating with out the tube, started walking (very slowly) and started talking. I didn’t really know what was what but I was getting there.

It's been 8 months since I’m out of hospital, I get very emotional, I’m a bitch to my partner that has been there everyday for me, I’m tried all the time and my partner can't understand that I need a full night sleep and can't get up to our daughter because otherwise I’m shit the next day. I can't sleep so I take valium and panadinefort for my headache and I just feel that no one knows what I’m going though.

Is this normal or should I go and see someone?

I started back at the (I’m a JSA consultant) dealing with people that are on Centerlink payment, trying to get them back into the workforce. Started for 8 hour per week and now I working 24 hours per week.

I don’t feel like I’m coping with the hours at the moment and get very frustrated with my clients.

And is it normal that I have a short fuss. Just the littlest of this set me off and I can get so anger. Is this normal, is almost been 1 year, how long will it last for?

Hi Tania and Welcome to the Survivor's Club...!

No one truly knows how the brain is effected once it is touched...but one thing I have seen as a continuous symptom we all seem to have ... after surgery ... is usually depression...post ~ traumatic stress...and anger... infact, I didn't even know I was angry...but my neurologist picked up on it...he helped me out...so that being said...it is natural to have these feelings, however, you need to talk with your Doctor and let him/her know your feelings...and ask them for help...also,...know .... this is a long journey...and it takes time...to feel better...you need to take the time to get lots of rest...Cyber ~ Healing thoughts Colleen

Hi Tania,

My goodness ,,, all that you have been thru and you are back to work so soon! Please do not push yourself,,, as Colleen suggested to you , speak with your Dr,, Healing will take time and we are all different so we will all heal at different paces,,,be good to yourself and be accepting of the new you!!!!! There may be things you cannot remember or do as well as you did before but ,,, wait till you realize all the new things that you can do now that you could not do before! its amazing! If you need more time off from work look into FMLA,,, your Dr can fill out the forms for you,, send them to your employer and your job will be held for you for up to 12 weeks,,or if you need to go out on temp disability look into that also.

and Congratulation!!!! you are a survivor!!! and I am glad that you have joined the group!!!! Huggssss and prayers Julie in Delaware

Tania, Sounds like you & I are on the same time frame. I had my ruptured annie in Sept,2010. What you have said is so familiar to me & to alot of other survivor. You need to rest as much as possible. I pushed myself to go to work & I finally had to back off. As of now I only work about 3 to 3 1/2hrs a day. After that my brain just shuts down. Everything you are feeling is so normal. I have been so sorry for my husband, as he is the one who has had to take care of me. He has been so sweet & I sometimes get so mad at him. Give yourself time & rest, rest, rest. I still take about a 3 to 4 hrs nap everyday. Thoughts & prayers to you. This support group has been my life line, I don't feel so alone, hope it will help you.

Aggie

Hi Tania,

Can you get your partner to read your post and others on the site? They have a recurring theme (tiredness and emotional upheaval) from a mans point of view, sometimes understanding needs to come via a third party. My story is very similar to yours, I am about 3years post a clipping and am still improving. I have found that computer games like bubbleshooter and patience work for me if I need to sleep, they seem to have helped with my temperament as well. I hope this isnt insensitive but nothing is normal or even close to normal now, you are a special person one of the very few who can say I survived a bleed in the brain!!


Tania,

Welcome to survivorhood. Nothing you're experiencing is abnormal. You went through a very traumatic experience and your body's just as pissed off as you are. I can't imagine dealing with a 2 year old and working while trying to heal. You're my hero.

I had my aneurysm over 10 years ago so I have a pretty good viewpoint from here. It takes lots of time. You'll experience ups and downs. After 10 years I'm pretty much over it, but the anxiety and fear and anger lasted a long time. I tried to do too much too soon and ended up at the neurologist with splitting headaches and found out it was only stress.

So, I'm not the only one here telling you to go easy on yourself. Let yourself heal and teach your partner that patience is indeed a virtue. Be patient with yourself and hopefully your partner will catch on. And like people have said, this is a valuable source of support and information. When I went through this, there was very little information or support available and I struggled to learn whatever I could. So use this site as much as you can and share the info with your family. This is good stuff.

Good luck. You're doing fine. Let off some steam every now and then.

Tania,

Your surgical experience parallels that of my wife. Keeping the blood pressure high also helps prevent vasospasms which cause clots to develop. How you differ from my wife is that she went into the surgery as a hard charging very driven person. Post surgery however she was a 180 degree personality change - very docile and calm personality. In your surgery as in my wife's, her Neurosurgeon was upfront in that he couldn't prevent damage to brain tissue simply due to the fact that it is surgery. Now 17 years later, she is slowly regaining some of that charge again but nowhere near as she was. Keep in mind that brain neurons and pathways are microscopic and no one knows what is really stored where. Your neurons and pathways will eventually reestablish themselves but it will be on "brain time" not "our time." As others have suggested, talk this over with your Neurologist, I'm sure he/she can help you. Good luck and good health!

Tania, welcome to this Survivor's Group... please tell us more about your daughter...ask your fiance if he will get on-line here and visit w/a number of husbands/partners, both men and women; and what they have experienced and done to help recovery and adjust to changes...most have been magnificent...and, they share their concerns and frustrations a/w/a/ their commitments and adjustments...They are blessed...

We all have so many similarities in our recovery process...variances based on the location of the aneurysm (the access...whether for coils or clips), the quality of the treatment, and so on... You were/are highly blessed to have such an excellent friend to step in at emergency...so many rely on doctored diagnoses...

My heart goes out for all you young ones w/children; more so w/the young ones; I know several locally, and, when the other partner/spouse has to step in to do more in the parenting, home maintenance along w/the stress/trauma they experienced during the emegency, treatment and recovery;...most are attempting to perform at their job, as well. They often must have to be as exhausted, and emotionally drained, as we are in recovery. It is so impressive, so rewarding, for those who connect here...

Highly recommend (I am non-degreed, non-licensed) that you talk w/your employer about reducing your scheduled hours until you have better healed...There are two sides; the first, your healing; the second, performing at the appropriate level your employer needs to meet its performance level...

Hugs and prayers to you...you will have a lot of them from members here...

Pat

I would say yes what you are going through is normal and it probably would help to see someone to talk about what you are feeling and are going through. My wife was an enormous help to me when I was recovering. My aneurysm was unruptured so my path was much easier than what you are traveling.