Update I have officially retired. About 4 years earlier than anticipated but, after my neurophysiology evaluation had decided to not try and work anymore, with the support of the physiologist and my wife. Retired disability and have applied for social Security disability. Had 26 yrs in and qualified for disability and after 4 months was approved. Still waiting for social Security. Couldn’t be better family wise and health wise. Taking less meds for anxiety and spend more time with my son . working with dr talking thru difficulties, and don’t feel like I’m letting myself or my family down. Moving forward not looking back and focusing on my health and my family. Still have issues but very little stress to add to them. I hope others have good days working thru any affects they have as survivors and caregivers.