if so how do you move past theangerof what happened/
well this probably wont help much bcuz im kinda goin through my own anger thing right now but what i try to do is the minute i have a thought of why me i try to think of how it could be worse or of a person even if i dont know them that it is worse for.For example anger and then i think to myself hey wait a minute at least i'm alive to feel that anger because out there somewhere is a family missing and feeling the loss of a loved one who didnt even get a chance to have the option to have a procedure to get it fixed:) wuts been really hard for me is im always the one with the smile,joke,and the laughter but im just not feelin it lately.i keep tellin myself that if i just keep believing it(the positive attutude) it will eventually happen.it might help to tell us some of your problems and maybe someone has the same problem and can let you know how they deal.who knows it may help.recently i read someones blog and they talked about adding the extra letter/letters in a word and referred to it as "twisted tongue" i was so releived to know i wasn't the only one and it felt good to put a name to it as dumb as it sounds.I actually showed my sons and we all had a good laugh just because when ever im talking to one of them i end up calling them by their brothers name first before i finally get to their name.last night i told my fiance to give me the receipt and because hes relatively new to all this he didnt quite understand why i had to laugh when i picked up the tv remote. DAAAH !!what a dumass,i call myself that alot i know im not really dumb but it helps me continue to realize im human and that being said its okay to feel what we feel whats really important is what we do with those feelings.whenever i was feeling down(and i just remembered this now while writing)I would make sure to go through the pediatric wing of the hospital or clinic.for me it put things in a little clearer perspective to see a child suffering and dealing with whatever.im sorry your feeling this way and i will put you in my prayers and it so helped when someone answered me a few days ago.
thankyoufor your yourinputto my question.. atonretime i vehemtenyly refusedto even think about joining a suportgroupand wasabsolutelysure it would not help toto dosobut i think maybe i was wrongand here i am. i have toapogise for ahy negativity i bring with mebut please understand i have been so filled with angerfor going on three years nownot only at the dr.s but nmyself also which i will try to explain later
Hi Vicki,
I did not share your experience but I can understand how you might feel.
My husband had a somewhat similar experience 5 years ago. We were being "proactive" in addressing his prostate cancer. Instead, we almost killed him. The surgery went fine and he came hom doing well but it went down hill from there. 6 surgeries in 2 weeks and a 17 day stay in the hospital with a feeding tube down his nose. We spent his birthday and the 4th of July in the hospital. I brought a "party" to him.
You know if you're in the hospital for 17 days in this day and time, you're pretty seriously ill. The good news, though, is that three months after it was all over, you couldn't tell he ever had anything wrong, unless you see him with his shirt off.
Besides the anger (which most of us experience regardless of the reason for the rupture). Did you have any serious side effects from the surgery?
Like Jim and Darlene, I miscall things (I laugh it off and fix the word and go on), I don't seem to have as much energy as others, lately I've had a lot of "twisted tongue" experiences and word finding. Caused by my aneurysms or the fact that I'm "clinically" an "older person"? I don't know which one it is. But, I do know that I am blessed.
Several years ago, after a particularly bad day at work, I couldn't go to sleep because all these thoughts kept running through my mind. I got up and sat down at the computer to write what started out with the title "I had a bad day today". By the time I finished writing, my conclusion was that "I had a really good day". Now, whenever, I'm feeling angry or low, I try to remember that night and recall how blessed I really am.
May you feel the warmth of God's peace today.
Carole
ji yjank you for your input to my questionand i admire your ability to feel the way you dothe reason i was and have been so angryyoou see is had finall had found happinessat 50 years old . 50 years of one trauma after anotherand i finally found just the right med coctail to overcome dlife long depression and bi polalism. my bigest fear in life was to have a stroke and i am not only angry with dr,for not teling methat a stroke was a possibility if theydid ruptured it during surgery.but my fear and parinoyia of having a strokemade me walk right into one. i went to my dr. with concerns over a couple minor concerns that she really didn't think were any thing to worry aboutbut to put my mind at ease she had an mridone on my birthday then we went on vacation to see my familyin missorithen when we got backthe results were in and they had found the aneurysman ee though the symptoms i had been worried about they saidreally had nothing to do with the aneurysmbut they insitsed i needed surgery right away my fears led me to walk right into what i feared. i think i would have be en fine without the surgeryespiecial when they told i could have born withit and and i have been knocked aroun d and have hit my head many times and it never ruptured,in fact just two weeks before the surgery i while playing badmittin in he dark at my son's wedding reception i fell and hit my head hardand it didn't rupture. had the dr told me of the risk of them rupturi ngresulting i the possibilty of a strokei would never have agreed to surgery. when i walked into that hospital i delt happier sand heslthier than i hadever been in my lifewhen i left the hospiti lwas a totally broken person and dreanms that had finally come true had beebn broken.. i have been so very angryfor almost 3 yearsand many peopletried to tell me at least you are alivebut i felt they had taken my life.and even though i have come along way and much betterthe angerhas stayed with meand and d there are other things i get angry over now i'll discuss at another timeagain thank you for tyour response . i apologise for my negativitybut is been a long hellish three years and i know i am not the only person with miserbut i need help and i guess bonding ewith others with like experiences may help after all
Hi Vicki,
I'm no psychologist but it sounds like you are grieving. It's important that you allow yourself to grieve for the losses you have experienced. I don't think anyone can fault you for being angry or from grieving based on the story that you've told. You've been through more than most people can bear.
Is there someone you really trust who will listen to you talk with out being judgmental? If you have such a resource, please take advantage of it.
Again, I wish you God's peace.
Take care.
Carole
oh yes some very nastysideffects. the stroke on my left sidewhicslsocaused left hand neglect for a while.then after coming home i got hit with neuralgia pain on left sidewhich made my phiscal re hab very hardas it felt like pins and needles just trying to pick things up. it, i stil havr the pain that is like fibroneuralgibut i have mostly learn to live with it but hope i don't have to live with it the rest of my life,thi was doing prettgood then ayear and a half after the urgery i starting having seizures whichthe first one i did not believe was a seizureas it was just a nerve hjumping like when you have a nerve jumping somewherei went i to tomy husband laughingand said look honey i can wiggle my noselike pigpig(we had miniture piggy at that time).and he starting freakin out sayinh g oh god honey youare having a stroke scari ng the hell out of me but i said no its just a nerve jumpingand refused to let him take me to er until it goit kept happening anf was getting on my nervesand iritating. dr.in er said i was having seizures but evenstill it was nothing like any seizure i ever saw , i do not lose cionscienciouness . they aren't scary mostly just irritating as the whole left side of my face twitcheds kieand feelslike nerves jumping.i alo developed whawould call an extreme case of narcolepsywhich many just thought i was sleepin because of depression but i said NO!!!!!!!i am depressed cause i am sleeping. seems like the night mare was never going to end and i still wonder if it will it will be 3 years in june since i had the surgery.noow i am wondering if i am going to have to have all this to deal withthe restof my lifeanand so hard for me to say i am lucky to be alive
0
thank you caroleand you arerightit is very much like grievingand i have many suporting peopleand many of themwere as understsnding as a person can be who hasn'waked in my moccasinsbuut i grieve the death of the person i was and i grieve for the broken dreams and i grieve for my poor wonderful husband thathas had tolisten to my anger and grief for and take care of meeven though he wouldn't have it any other way. but i found thissuport group and decided maybe it might do some good to correspo nd with others that had roo had some of the same kind of misery