Brand New here and scared

Hi all… My therapist recommended me to join this site and I’m just here to say hi. I just turned 40, I suffered my aneurysm at 38, and I’m still recovering right now. Just wanted to introduce myself and share some hopeful advice. I’m currently waiting to go see my speech therapist, and I have somewhat recovered physically and career wise, but the mental aspect of the recovery is what makes this difficult. That’s what the speech therapist and my clinical therapist have said. My dream is to reactivate my driver’s license because I feel like I’m a bother because I need to be chauffered around, but because I haven’t had a seizure in over a year I hope to be able to take that test and pass. Fingers crossed! Just send me all your luck and well wishes and hopefully everything turns out ok! Nice to virtually meet everyone and like I said just stay positive!

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Hi, glad you are doing ok, where are you from, how big was your Annie and where was it x

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Welcome @camon! Nice to ‘meet’ you. Glad to hear recovery is progressing for you. This is a wonderful group. Fingers crossed on the driver’s license :slight_smile:

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Carl, welcome! And Happy 40th Birthday - major milestone for anyone, but especially a survivor. I’m so sorry to hear of the losses of your cousin and uncle. I had interventional surgery so I was lucky to avoid the trauma and recovery of a rupture so I can’t directly relate, and I won’t even try to tell you I know how you feel. But I can tell you that people like you are my inspiration when the going gets tough. In fact, let me also wish you Happy 2nd Birthday or 2nd "Annie"versary, whichever you prefer to call it - that is probably the best milestone. I know you are dealing with issues right now, and for that I’m truly sorry. But have you stopped to consider what all had to align in order for you to celebrate THAT milestone?

Every little thing that took place, from the largest steps to the infinitesimally small worked together to keep you alive. That’s a LOT of moving parts all going your way. I don’t know if you are spiritual, I don’t believe random chance works with that level of efficiency. But if you aren’t spiritual, go ahead and toss my thoughts aside but you’ve still got to admit - it is pretty darn awesome to have that much work in your favor. So always celebrate that day!

I’m the annoying glass half full optimistic here, and from your last line urging us to “just stay positive!”, it sounds like we may have that in common. So let me add to your optimism - although it sounds like you aren’t quite yourself yet, what’s so wrong with being a work in progress? If you aren’t completely better yet, then you just aren’t done. Are we ever really done? You’re 40, not 90, and you’ve got a lot of years yet to work out the details. We’re all too hard on ourselves when we don’t reach some arbitrary goal we set for ourselves. I am a firm believer that it doesn’t matter how you reach your result… you can take a straight, simple, linear path to reach the end. You can swerve, duck, and roll, and still reach the end. You can put in neutral, rev it up, and sometimes even kick it into reverse and still reach the end. Sometimes the journey can bring something you never expected, and never knew you needed, making the path the best part; the end might just be a mile marker. You won’t know until you get there and look back, and you definitely don’t want to miss out on that. In fact, from the first day you opened your eyes in the ICU until today, I’m sure a lot has changed. I’ll bet you took baby steps and leaps along the way to get to today. You’ve come a long way, and not without a fight, so you can handle what lies ahead. Getting back physically and career wise is an enormous win. Many rupture survivors have to make major changes and adapt to new normals in those areas, so congrats on those wins.

Mental health is certainly tough. There’s what this did to your brain physically, and what it does emotionally. And then you have to sort through the aftereffects and reconcile those changes in your psyche into your new self. That’s way above my pay grade. But it sounds like you have support in that area, so great job. Lean on them and anyone that will allow you.

Not driving must stink, and I understand you feel you’re a bother. No one likes to feel that way. But I’m much older than you so I can draw a comparison here - when my parents were aging my siblings and I had to step in and do a lot of caregiving. We probably occasionally showed a little impatience, which is something I hope they didn’t notice and I’ll always regret. Right now, I wish either one of them were here to need absolutely anything and everything from me. The people that are chauffeuring you around right now are people grateful to see your face, see your smile, and hear your voice. They’re grateful you lived to see a day where you could reach out when you need them, and they wouldn’t trade you sitting in the passenger seat for anything.

So it’s great to have you join us, and I am happy to send you luck, well wishes, and hope you get that license back. Love that you end your post on mental health with “just stay positive!” Keep us posted and once again, WELCOME!

Judi

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Well-come to your sanctuary, camon. You have great taste by choosing us as your neighbors. :slight_smile:

Let us know when you’ve scheduled your driver’s test. We’ll be pulling for you and sending you our neighborly supportive thoughts and vibes.

You might also want to consider practicing some simple breath awareness techniques in preparation for your driver’s test. A calm mind can easily quiet the butterflies in your stomach. And a calm mind can also be an effective antidote to a triggered seizure.

P.S. We don’t have a HOA here, so you can dress up your tent anyway you like. :slight_smile:

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welcome to the group and good luck on your drivers test

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Hi Carl,
I’m also a new participant counting down the 9 days until surgery. Your post raised an issue that I hadn’t considered – my driver’s license. I contacted the medical office and yep, no driving for at least a month assuming everything goes okay. How did I miss that little detail? Yes, there is Uber and Lyft, but now I am going to be dependent upon someone else. I started therapy a year ago just to sort some stuff out (not the brain issue), and I have to tell you that I’m not happy about taking up therapy time to talk about my aneurysm. We do what we gotta do though.

David

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@David
Hi David
It’s only a few days till your craniotomy. We will be thinking of you and sending prayers your way. We hope everything goes well and smoothly. Please update us when you can.
All the best to you from a fellow ruptured brain aneurysm survivor :heart_hands:

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thank you for thinking about me

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