Being a big girl

It feels weird not being able to post my ramblings on my personal blog. And I never know which Discussion to put it under. But I wanted to share something. First I want to thank those of you who reached out to offer words of wisdom to my divorce discussion. Such wise souls you are. Things are much improved here. I put my foot down and had a frank discussion with my hubby. It helped immensely for us to lay it all out and discuss. We're back on course...learning a new way to be.

In the process I decided that although I'm lost in this new land of after annie, it's up to me whether I stay lost or chart a new course. So I signed up for an art class that lets you learn whatever you want. I board my first flight since surgery tomorrow to accompany my sister on a business trip. While she's in training, I'm going to venture out and try some tours. I've google earthed every bus stop along my intended travel because I'm weird like that now. If I get lost, well let's just hope I get found. If I don't venture out as intended then I'll work on a new little project I've decided to try. I'll share that at another date.

I think I share all this with you because I want you to know there is hope in the new land. Besides the surgeries, the physical effects, there are the little mental quirks. The small changes that can lead to big negative or positive changes. Resistance to change is futile. We have to be willing to acknowledge, observe, tweak (not to be confused with twerk eeeww), and continue forward. While it may be hard sometimes for those around us to get along with us, we often have to work at getting along with ourselves first. To reconnect to the happiness that lies within us. To find new hopes, joys, dreams.

Ok, I sound crazy now. I think I'm secretly panicking about that flight tomorrow. But I've gotta be a big girl now and find my way in the new land.

How lovely for you! You on a journey, and not just on the plane. The world is opening up for you and you are reaching out to grab ahold! no worries about getting lost, the best part of some of my trips was when I got lost and ended up somewhere great that I didn’t know about. My backup plan is to call a cab and keep the name and address of the hotel in my bag. Nice to see you so excited and positive and curious! Hope you at having fun…

Wishing you a great trip and exploration... hope you have a tiny GPS to carry with you....

I'd have been lost blocks from home w/o my GPS... first flights...were with a friend who essentially could plan/direct and re-direct me...

Hope you have a grand time...

Tomorrow is 2 years since my last brain surgery. What a trip it’s been!
I journal some, write notes to myself. A year ago I had written ‘I am better? but not well…’ A few days ago I wrote 'I am learning to live and love who I am now… :)'
We really do appreciate every day, even the bad days. Hugs!

I read your note with compassion and joy. I too had a very serious brain aneurysm in Feb. 2012 With the love and support of many kind and generous folks I have completely recovered. I live alone , travel , drive and volunteer my time to support The Brain Aneurysm support group in Boston. My life is so full since this happened to me . My thoughts and prayers are with you.....don't be afraid.....There is a reason you survived! Marjie

Hey hun sorry to hear you and your hubby were going through some rough patches I think we all have those rough days but I’m glad you and your hubby can get back on the same page. Enjoy your trip I know I did when I went to Cancun in May. I have been dealing with a lot of drama like a cancer and now my baby aneurysm has grown 2 more millimeters I like my sons sons these things just make her stronger please go and enjoy your trip keep us posted

I like this post :) you seem to be making lemonade out of your lemons. :)

By the way, I was also afraid to fly after my surgery (annie clipped 4.5 months ago), but I went on a trip a week ago. I got dizzy during take off and landing and I could feel when the pressure changed, but there was no pain or lasting effects. I wonder if it matters that it was a small plane...

take care and keep positive :)

Everything you said was spot on - and the truth of it is, it applies to more than just annie survivors. I dearly love reading what's next for you, and I am so hopeful for you in these new adventures! I'm glad you and your husband were able to start down a new path, together, and I am encouraged by you in so many ways. As I said, your words apply to more than just the survivor journey, and they touched me today. Thank you for sharing - that's what helps the rest of us feel like WE aren't alone. I can't wait to hear how the trip went, or this other project you haven't yet divulged... :)

Congratulations for the confidence and determination to try and do new things. Sounds like an exciting time . Good luck with the trip and future plans. I am chicken to think about flying(even though chickens dont fly,haha). But I do love Jamaica and would love to go back. I just got out of hospital last night, 4 days, thinking heart attack but viral infection enlarged sac lining of heart. Still not well but getting better. I ve been poked so much i feel like a pin cushion. I had to cancel my 6 month check up with neurosurgeon but i will rebook because i feel like crap. I guess i dont handle stress very well, and most minutes lately with my husband of 36 years feel stressful. I told him to learn to bite his tongue(until it bleeds , if need be) which is impossible for a hot headed italian. I feel like i take 1 step forward and 2 steps back lately. I have only done a few farmers markets this summer to sell my handmade jewellery . I know things will get better and God has a planfor me. Best wishes to all. Thanks for sharing and caring.

good luck.

ty i want to venture out too and explore, tc

Wishing you the best of luck on your new journey. Have fun on your trip. Be sure to give us the story on how you did!

I wish you the best on your new adventure! You are always on point with your writings and we indeed have a choice to make when we are able to, don’t we. This new normal can seem so small and limited sometimes - I pray it helps you to follow your heart and try some new things in it. Please tell us how the flight is (I am also chicken - and I used to travel ALL THE TIME)…you may become my inspiration! As for my firsts (if I can share) I went up to the mountains for the first time since my aneurysm and since I became ill. Great couple of days while there so there is hope…

This is all a process, things will get better with time. You are an amazing person to do so much so soon. Much love and support to you