Anniversary

Today, 2 years ago I had a brain aneurysm that erupted and was flown out of our remote camp up in British Columbia. I have to admit that I haven't spent much time on this forum because I haven't really admitted that it affected me. I woke up in the hospital after my operation, left the hospital 10 days later, was back to work 1 month after the eruption and have moved forward. I haven't had any serious repercussions but I have to admit that I have changed. Before my aneurysm, I was extremely active, especially for a 53 year old female. I live at a high school camp so have the privilege and adrenalin rush of doing life with the college kids who come up to help. So, jumping off of cliffs, going down natural watersides, doing steep rock scrambles, skiing and wake boarding 3x a week was a typical week. I snowboarded, hiked, kayaked and traveled to remote locations with my husband. Today it is hard for me to leave the house at night. In the last 2 years I haven't done anything, other than a trip to Hawaii. I work during the day and just peter out at night. I read an article the other night about a guy who had a aneurysm and was going through similar things as I have. He mentioned that he felt that he was dying a slow death. Like a death of himself. It was the first time since having my aneurysm that I have cried because I could relate to that. I haven't wanted to admit that I'm struggling a bit admitting my vulnerability because I have so much to be thankful for. I have an incredibly supportive family, my husband treats me like I am a precious gem that he has just discovered. He reminds me that each day is a gift. I love Jesus and am secure that He loves me back and don't fear dying. I fear changing though, being less of myself because I fear the violence of pain, operations, recuperations, others suffering watching me struggle back. After reading that article I realize that I need people who have been through what I have. I maybe need this site, to heal and to help. I look forward to getting to know some of you and hearing your stories and I hope that my story can be another voice that can comfort as well

"I fear changing though, being less of myself because I fear the violence of pain, operations, recuperations, others suffering watching me struggle back."

Wow Terri it is a fear of mine too...because even my husband reminds me often...don't do this, don't overdo, etc., because I have to see you suffer...it is so hard...I have embraced the new me, but sometimes I just want to break out and do what I used to do...but torn...Thank you for bringing this to light. It is so true...I wish I had some great answer, but I don't...

Happy 2 year Annie~versary...! Celebrate and Enjoy...and do something nice for you...~ Colleen

Today is a day that we celebrate YOU Terri & your Beautiful Life! No doubt, that your husband has something amazing planned just for YOU today :))!!! Thank you for sharing your story and please know that your story certainly does help to INSPIRE just so many; including me! I truly feel that it's thru the darkest times in our lives that can lead us to the BEST days of our Lives; perhaps a bit different after dealing with the loss of self a rupture can leave us with; yet embracing the "out with the old" and "in with the new" has actually brought forth many Blessings in my life that would have never surfaced had it not been for my encounter and rupture with an AVM beast. Thanks again for sharing and have a wonderful day celebrating YOU and Life!!!

May God Bless YOU richly in ALL you do!

Michele

Hi Terri, Happy Annie-versary! I am also a survivor, of a ruptured aneurysm and liked Colleen, And Michele. I have learned to lived this '“new normal” as best as I can. Knowing, that it could have been worst, if not for God’s Grace. I’ve been through a horrendous trauma, both physically and emotionally, but I counted my blessings everyday, thankful for my husband, kids, relatives, and friends, for their love, and support. Please read my profile, it’s a long story- I am a walking miracle! I tried not to lived in fear, as my wise mom said, may she RIP- “be a warrior, not a worrier.” Terri, life will, knocked us down, but is what we do when we get up, and dusted, ourselves off! Keep The Faith!