It is April 2nd and I am remembering Monday, April 2, 2012. What a special day. Four years ago today Dr. Sander Connolly saved my life. I remember meeting him for the first time. The first thing he said to me was “You have no other option you need brain surgery.” Then he went on to say if not, I would probably be dead in 2-3 years. So today is a celebration of life because I have passed my life expectancy.
The past 4 years have been a learning experience. Learning to love myself even though I am not who I used to be. Learning what my limitations are and accepting them. Learning and understanding what Brain Flooding is and what a large place in my life it plays. Learning to ask for help when I need it and learning to do it myself as often as possible. Learning that the “baby annie” that is still in there will not rule your life. Learning that at 57 years old (or 4 years old depending on how you look at it J) life is just beginning and not ending.
I know I cannot take care of or please everyone else and that is okay. Sometimes you have to say “no” to people you love because it is not good for you. You hope they understand. Sometimes it means you are going to miss activities and invitations for various reasons. That’s okay.
It means having this group that has helped me so much on my journey. It feels good to try to help others deal with their experiences by sharing experiences, or just giving someone a shoulder to lean on and an ear that will listen.
So on this 4th anniversary of my brain surgery, I am the luckiest person in the world and I remind myself of that every day. I do have to learn not to care about the extra 20 pounds. I have a husband who still takes care of me in those little ways that he thinks I do not notice; who loves me and loves exploring our new city with me. I work with great people who have become such dear friends. On this my 4th anni-versary Dennis and I will go out for a celebratory dinner. We realize we are both so extremely lucky and I AM ALIVE!
What a wonderfully happy, positive post, Carol! Congratulations, and best wishes for continued health and happiness. Enjoy your well-deserved night out, and thank you for giving us all a smile today.
Seenie
PS My SO is a Dennis as well
Thank you for your message starbirder. It means a lot to me. I feel as if I do not do half as much as I should here considering this site helped me so much in my recovery. Every person I have "met" here has played such an important role along my journey. Carol
starbirder said:
Happy Anniversary Carol!!! we are so lucky in this group to have you helping us along the way.
You have truly been blessed in more ways than one!!! Best Wishes and enjoy...
Seenie it must be something in the name :) Thank you so much for your guidance and wisdom along the way. I just hope I deserve it LOL
It was a wonderful night out and I think I will be recovering today from a bit of overindulgence of good food and yes, a nice single malt to celebrate the anniversary.
Halfway through dinner I heard Dennis whisper something and I asked him what he said and he repeated "I am so grateful for Dr. Connolly".
Carol
ModSupport said:
What a wonderfully happy, positive post, Carol! Congratulations, and best wishes for continued health and happiness. Enjoy your well-deserved night out, and thank you for giving us all a smile today. Seenie PS My SO is a Dennis as well
Congratulations for reaching this fantastic milestone! Dr. Connolly also treated me with a clipping last August. I feel so lucky to have been treated by such an experienced and caring person. I hope I will be able to celebrate my 4th anniversary. Congratulations!
Carol, congratulations and thank you for the wonderful post, i am only 4 months out from my clipping and struggling daily to accept the new me and vainly searching for a social support network to help me through it. Stories like yours inspire me and allow me to see there is indeed a long road to recovery, I must be patient. Congratulations and best wishes
Dr. Connolly is the best and after meeting him for 10 minutes I trusted him no matter what he was going to tell me to do. I sometimes refer to him as Dr. Hero since he is my Hero. I feel so lucky that I had him as my surgeon. When I moved to Florida I had to get a local surgeon "just in case" and after months of looking I finally picked one. When I went to meet with him he walked in and said "I wish I had read your file last month because then I could have talked about you with my dear friend Sander Connolly while we were in Germany together." I was shocked. I knew I had picked another great surgeon. When I was telling Dr. Connolly the story he laughed and said that he felt good knowing I was in good hands down here.
I'll be here to send you congratulations when you are ready to celebrate your 4th anni-versary :)
Carol
Michele said:
Hi Carol,
Congratulations for reaching this fantastic milestone! Dr. Connolly also treated me with a clipping last August. I feel so lucky to have been treated by such an experienced and caring person. I hope I will be able to celebrate my 4th anniversary. Congratulations!
It is easy to feel discouraged sometimes. I am sitting here thinking back to how I felt after 4 months. It was a tough period. I had just found this site and was so happy to know that I was not alone and it was not only me. This site helped me through my recovery on this difficult journey. I can honestly say I did not feel "normal" for almost a year and a half. Then today I go into work and made three totally BA mistakes and laughed because the journey is never over, you just learn to accept it and accommodate it. Please always feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to listen. There are some great face-to-face support groups out there, not nearly enough, but if you are in a city that has one I would suggest going. I went when I lived in NY and they are so good. To hear first hand from people who know what it is like is so healing.
Stay strong,
Carol
JT said:
Carol, congratulations and thank you for the wonderful post, i am only 4 months out from my clipping and struggling daily to accept the new me and vainly searching for a social support network to help me through it. Stories like yours inspire me and allow me to see there is indeed a long road to recovery, I must be patient. Congratulations and best wishes
Thanks, Carol, my problem was compounded when I lost the job I had for 20 years, unable to do the work anymore. Fortunately I receive a pension, but it makes me feel very insecure and quite frankly, useless. I live in a remote area a couple of hours from the city, so I am a bit isolated. I appreciate your offer to listen.
congrates!! Carol hi that was amazing you put it all in a nutshell so precisely, you write excellent, you must have been an english major. I was wondering if i could have your permission to copy/paste this to my facebook page? take care and thank you for this, it gives me almost a closure of ole ron. If its not ok to share this that's ok, i will not be offended in any way since it is your personal trials and tribulations and battle plans, tc
Thanks Ron. I'm touched by your comments and yes I would be honored if you want to share this :)
ronk said:
congrates!! Carol hi that was amazing you put it all in a nutshell so precisely, you write excellent, you must have been an english major. I was wondering if i could have your permission to copy/paste this to my facebook page? take care and thank you for this, it gives me almost a closure of ole ron. If its not ok to share this that's ok, i will not be offended in any way since it is your personal trials and tribulations and battle plans, tc
Thanks Ron. I'm touched by your comments and yes I would be honored if you want to share this :)
ronk said:thank you our Princess warrior angel, hang in there and take care!
congrates!! Carol hi that was amazing you put it all in a nutshell so precisely, you write excellent, you must have been an english major. I was wondering if i could have your permission to copy/paste this to my facebook page? take care and thank you for this, it gives me almost a closure of ole ron. If its not ok to share this that's ok, i will not be offended in any way since it is your personal trials and tribulations and battle plans, tc
Seenie it must be something in the name :) Thank you so much for your guidance and wisdom along the way. I just hope I deserve it LOL
It was a wonderful night out and I think I will be recovering today from a bit of overindulgence of good food and yes, a nice single malt to celebrate the anniversary.
Halfway through dinner I heard Dennis whisper something and I asked him what he said and he repeated "I am so grateful for Dr. Connolly".
Carol
ModSupport said:
What a wonderfully happy, positive post, Carol! Congratulations, and best wishes for continued health and happiness. Enjoy your well-deserved night out, and thank you for giving us all a smile today. Seenie PS My SO is a Dennis as well
beautifully stated Carol, learning self care first and saying no to loved ones hits home. the brain flooding also. I had to say that I couldn’t attend sons graduate scholl graduation, not up to the stressors if traveling, this was hard to do but it’s self preservation and I am sad I can’t attend but I know that it’s the right decision