There is a woman on here, Michele Ricks, who is going thru a similar situation with her brother.
Wow! Thatâs exciting! He is making progress, waking up. He is responding to your love. Keep it up.
Fantastic! That is such good news. Thanks for letting others know. More good will come.
Great news!
Itâs common for a person to waken and begin to use various abilities etc. little by little. Youâve shown great patience so farâkeep it up!
You are right that he does not know how much you are doing for him. Thatâs ok. But someday he probably will know, when he begins to understand what he has been through. Very likely, his appreciation will be sky-high.
Relieved to hear there is no pneumonia, like ADRaunch said he probably doesnât understand what youâve done for him yet. Hang in there weâre with you.
Seenie, Meli and TJ from Mod Support
I remember lying in that bed and hearing my wifeâs voice. Was like a soft warm blanket. Her voice made me feel so safe and at peace. Do not give up. He will continue to recover. Its been 6 years since mine and I am 99% healed. but it definitely is a long process.
Of course you are depressed. Youâve been riding a roller coaster for five months. Youâve been stressed and exhausted and stretched to the limit. Doing what you are doing is very hard emotional work indeed, not even mentioning the physical demands of shuttling back and forth to the hospital and trying to keep things together at home. Being depressed means you are normal, but it also means that you need to reach out.
Donât be afraid to ask for help: knowing when itâs time to ask for support is a sign of strength and wisdom, not weakness. Speak to a member of your husbandâs care team: you will not the first spouse that they have met who is suffering the stress of being the next of kin to someone in such a difficult medical situation. Make an appointment with your family doc to update them, and to talk about what you are going through. They understand, and there may well be some support that they can offer you. At the very least, you will have an empathetic ear.
Another idea (in addition to speaking to your GP and someone on your husbandâs medical team) is to contact the Social Work department at the hospital. This is a little-known service at the hospital, but they can be incredibly helpful when you are struggling with so much. When my elderly mother was very ill, we found the social workers very understanding and supportive in a really down-to-earth way.
All of us are keeping you and your husband in our thoughts.
Seenie (as well as TJ and Meli) from ModSupport
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Palhuc, of course you are exhausted. Never mind the anxiety and sleep deprivation, the emotional highs and lows of every day take their toll. About 6 months into my husbandâs recovery I could not stop crying. It became an obstacle to my ability tomhelp him heal, so I went to the dr. and got some anti-depressants. It was a good move. Now I sleep without pillls and can rely on myself to be there for my husband. You asked about how long it took about walking. I guess it depends do you mean with a walker, cane, solo, and how much balance. We have been through all of it. It took about 18 months working out 4 days a week and doing physio to walk with reasonable steadiness without a cane. But each person is different, as you hear so many times. Still my husband gets tippy when tired. This is a long hard slog. Not every day is a good day, but that is normal. There are setbacks, but they are not reversals. What I have both read and experienced is that the healing comes in stages. There is improvement (as you have seen and rightly celebrated) and then there is a plateau period where things appear to stay the same, but the healing is continuing at a cellular level. Then there is another improvement. Just being there for your husband is the best medicine for him. There may well be behavioural quirks, like closed eyes. He is adjusting to a new reality and may not be able to communicate all he is feeling and experiencing. Conversely, he may not yet be feeling much, or be still too sick to consider how others perceive his actions. Please keep posting with updates.
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Itâs natural to have those kinds of anxieties, but try to push those negative thoughts out of your head. As far as progress goes â â it seems like it is two steps forward and one step back. One day he will know how much you have done for him and eventually a day will be just another day, but it just might be a little different nowâ â But thatâs OK. Eventually you adjust to a new normal â â thatâs what Iâve done with my recovery.
I understanding you when you say you feel sorry for yourself when really your husband is the one suffering. My wifeâs aneurysm experience was absolutely the most difficult time of my life. She has often said it was easy for her, because she was unaware of what was happening. She was unaware of almost everything for a month or more. Rehab was a big challenge, but even then she never experienced pain. So in an ironic way the caretaker may sometimes suffer as much or more than the victim of the injury. The caretaker has to observe everything, thinks about possibilities, is aware of what the doctors are doing to the patient (necessary, of course), and must live day in and day out with uncertainties. They told me at one point I should get away and do something I enjoyed in order to take a break. But nothing interested me besides spending as much tim as I could with my Ruth. If you have opportunities for support, welcome them.
Iâm not sure about deserving goodness, but I would say I have received mercy. We had just bought a retirement house in another state when Ruth had her aneurysm (we still had some years of work before retirement), and I considered that I might have to move there alone. I can assure you that was not our plan. When you are in a situation like yours, you donât have the privilege of hindsight. As it has often been said, hindsight is 20/20 vision. Uncertainty is one of the hardest hurdles to handle. Your 40th anniversary will be worth observing no matter what your circumstances are at the time. It is a significant achievement. My wife and I had celebrated our 40th the summer before her annie. Last year we celebrated our 45th. You may, also, and your hindsight at that time may be very different than what you are now experiencing. It could even be very enjoyable.
Iâm praying for your continued strength and your hubbys continued healing i donât have any answer except itâs your call. Heâs your husband. To stand beside him and stand up for him is in our vows. My hats off to you. God bless and prayers
Youâve stumbled upon a topic thatâs six years old! Iâm closing it. If you want to reach out to someone in particular, try sending a pm.