If you read my history. During my last cyberknife treatment I cried out to God asking him why because I was so tired of going through everything. God gave me the story of the blind man in John 9, "When Jesus disciples asked, "Why was this man born blind was it because of his sin or his parents sin?" Jesus replied, "niether it's so I can show my glory." This means the world to me because "I want to be used by God."